The Mayor and City Council of the small but law-abiding citizenry of DeQuincy, Louisiana today stood united before a problem which, in the words of Mayor Maynard Wilkins, is directly responsible for the moral decay that is gnawing at the heart of our country – an insidious problem that will infect our souls, curve our spines and keep the country from winning the war.
Twerking is now illegal in DeQuincy town limits, punishable by 30 days in jail for a first-time offense.
“Twerking is a defiant act against Jesus and his teachings. The rest of the country can keep their heads in the sand about this sexual act before marriage, but not the great city of DeQuincy,” Wilkens said. “We will still allow dancing in DeQuincy, just no jigglin’, shakin’ and ‘dry humping’ anywhere in our city limits.”
Bobby Joe Williams who is the sheriff in the town told reporters about the penalties for those caught twerking. “First time offenders will receive a mandatory 30 days in the county jail. After that it will be a much harsher punishment,” Williams said. “We are taking this matter serious. They’re ain’t gonna be no twerkin’ in my city, not no more.”
So if you happen to find yourselves in DeQuincy, resist the urge to twerk: it’s not worth your freedom.
The town of DeQuincy has a population of 3,398 as of the 2000 census. DeQuincy is part of the Lake Charles Metropolitan Statistical Area.
So far state officials in Louisiana have yet to make a formal statement concerning the ban on twerking in DeQuincy.
It must be nice to live in a town where twerking is the only going concern.
Ed. Note: This story is a complete hoax. According to the real mayor of DeQuincy, His Honor, Mayor Lawrence Henagan that the story is “a bunch of hogwash” and that “there’s nothing to it.”
This wouldn’t be the first time DeQuincy has been mentioned in false press releases. Earlier this year it was reported that Koreans were not allowed within DeQuincy city limits and three months ago the school children of the town would be issued handguns.
- City In Louisiana Makes ‘Twerking’ Illegal – 30 Days In Jail For First Offense (nationalreport.net)
- New Craze In Louisiana Called ‘Whipping’ Has Arrests At An All-Time High (nationalreport.net)
- Of Twerking (The Miley Cyrus Story) (geigs.wordpress.com)