In my last blog, I wrote the town of Dequincy, Louisiana had made twerking a crime but was careful to point out that the story was a hoax and that no such ordinance had been passed. I did this because I thought it was a funny story which certain of my readers thought so as well. But having further researched this story I have uncovered a disturbing pattern in which an individual or a group of individuals has made it their business to issue false press reports about this town for unknown reasons, possibly malicious. This sort of behavior is reckless, irresponsible and unfunny in the extreme.
Now I’m mad.
– William A. Ferguson, Blogger-In-Chief for The Noise
Welcome to DeQuincy, Louisiana. Population: 3,398 – a small town in southwestern Louisiana that sports all of ten restaurants and the only tourist attractions are All Saints Church, the DeQuincy Railroad Museum and the Old City Hall and Police Station.
In short, there’s not a lot here to see and do but that makes no nevermind to the fine folks who live here and yet DeQuincy has for the last year found itself the target of scurrilous press releases, painting it out to be a caricature of a backwards, out-of-step with the 21st century small Southern town.
Earlier this year, DeQuincy found itself the subject of a racist controversy when it was reported they had banned Koreans from town limits. After that fire was put out, the good people of DeQuincy once again found themselves embroiled in yet another controversy when it was reported that schoolchildren in DeQuincy were going to be issued handguns in class, which prompted the Calcasieu Parish School Board to issue a statement:
We want to ensure you that this story is entirely false and we have no plans of arming our students. We take safety and individuals in our schools very seriously. Any conversation otherwise will not be tolerated.
Back in January of this year it was reported that the DeQuincy constabulary was working overtime. Reason: a rash of “whipping” incidents had gripped the town. For the uninitiated, “whipping” is the act of whipping one’s penis out in public and smacking against inanimate objects (such as mailboxes, trees, cars, etc).
No, I will not be posting a picture of it here. Google it.
And today it was reported that twerking is now a crime in DeQuincy, punishable by 30 days in jail for the first offense – and then they were really gonna have to get mean and nasty if they catch you doing it again.
For the record: none of these stories are true. Koreans are allowed to visit and take up residence in DeQuincy if they wish, the schools are not issuing firearms to the kids, nobody is whipping out their penis and smacking it against anything and twerking (though foolish) is still your constitutional right to do without fear of law enforcement hauling you off to the hoosegow.
So I have a question:
Why y’all picking on DeQuincy, Louisiana?
I have been to Louisiana. While I can’t say I care much for the climate it’s full of nice people who have a wonderful sense of humor, the cuisine is awesome and the architecture (French through-and-through) is amazing. Louisiana also is home to world class blues and zydeco bands.
I don’t like this at all. This town has done nothing to nobody and it certainly doesn’t need this negative press. I’m sitting here thinking of poor Mayor Lawrence Henagan who, rather than attending to the all-important business of running his town, spent the entire day on the phone fielding questions from reporters and no less than Michelle Obama.
Yes, Mayor Henagan got a phone call from the First Lady and you know when the First Lady calls, its officially a media circus.
Mr. Mayor, sir, I offer you my sincerest condolences on the negative attention your town has been getting this year. I can’t imagine why your town specifically has been the target of such outright smears and libelous attacks but this has gone far enough.
My hackles are raised over this because having read the comment sections of the articles I’ve linked to people tend to believe a lot of what they read on the internet and they believe everything they’ve read about DeQuincy, Louisiana. They actually think that your town is racist, lewd and more fundamentalist than the Middle East.
And it has to stop.
Mr. Mayor, sir, I call upon the press and bloggers such as myself to come to the defense of DeQuincy at once by turning their investigative prowess into unmasking the individual or individuals responsible for the slurs on the good people of your fine town.
I also urge anyone passing through Louisiana to stop in DeQuincy and spend some money there. Let these fine folks know the rest of the country cares about them.